God revealed something special about motherhood to me today while teaching the kids science that I’d like to share. I have a couple of disclaimers first. One, I definitely do not put myself in the same league with Stacy McDonald, Terri Maxwell, Sally Clarkson, or especially, Johnnie Seago, when it comes to sharing thoughts on motherhood, but as God taught me something today, I knew I wanted to share it as an exhortation to other mothers on just how important our calling is as a mother. I am well aware of the fact that what I am going to share is not new or profound and has certainly been said better. Second, I want to say that God used the adoption of Maria and Suzanna to reveal this to me, but it doesn’t just relate to adoption. He used this time and circumstance in my life just as He will use other experiences for different people. That being said, I will now try to put into words what God has been slowly teaching me the last several weeks and finally wrapped up into a beautiful present this afternoon.
We are currently using Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day for our science program, which by the way we absolutely love all the Exploring Creation science curriculum by Jeanne Fulbright. Today we were reading on bird migration. The following are different sections we covered that God used to speak to me today.
“The ability for a bird to reach its destination without getting lost is called a homing instinct. What is even more amazing is that birds flying high up in the sky are continually blown off course by the wind, but they always get right back on course. How do they do this? If they get off course even a tiny bit, and they continue in the same direction, they will end up at the wrong place. The wind is strong and can easily cause birds to shift directions. Amazingly, these birds are designed with the ability to always adjust their direction to go the correct way.”
“So how do birds know where to go? Well, once a bird has migrated, it can use landmarks to help guide it to where it needs to go. Landmarks are usually large structures that don’t move. They serve to help you know where you are.”
“Whether by landmarks, constellations, the sun, or magnetic fields, birds know when to go, where to go, and almost always make it to their destination on right on time. The birds know to do this because of the instinct it is given by God. Do you remember the Bible verse we looked at in the first lesson? God says to Job, “Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars, stretching his wings toward the south?” (Job 39:29). In this verse, God reveals to us that it is by His understanding that the hawk and all the other birds know where, when, and how to migrate.”
So what does all this bird stuff and adopting Maria and Suzanna have to do with each other and motherhood? Here is the answer God shared with me. God in His infinite wisdom and perfect creation made mothers for children instead of giving them instinct only. Without mothers providing landmarks, if you will, children are completely lost. They will not know when, where, or how to get to their destination. This applies to the practical and of course the spiritual. It is in the everyday practical things that God has shown me the last several weeks just how important the calling of motherhood really is.
One of the first things I noticed about Suzanna as we sat waiting for the many doctors’ appointments we had when the girls arrived home, was that when she picked up a book or magazine, she would pick it up backwards and upside down to look at it. She did the same thing with a book for school. I never sat down and taught Riley, Luke, or Aubrey how to go through a book from front to back. They simply learned by getting on the couch or bed with me each day while I read to them. Poor Suzanna did not have this. Both Maria and Suzanna are great at memorization, but that’s all it is, memory. They don’t understand what they have memorized or how to apply it. For example, both girls can go around and recite, “One plus one equals two, two plus two equals four, four plus four equals eight…” But, if you ask either one of them what one plus two is they are completely stumped! Suzanna can count to 100 but cannot write or identify most if any of the numbers that she has memorized in the correct order. It’s the same with scripture; it is just words to them.
Most children in Liberia, not just in the orphanages, are not taught how to think. They are left to themselves to do chores or play without any supervision or guidance. In school they are taught to memorize facts but not what they mean or how to use them in everyday life. David says this is how one can get an entire nation to behave in a mob mentality and brutally kill and maim each other, including children like Liberia has done for so many years.
In my last post I shared about the difficulties we have with trying to train the girls in character and how to be part of a family. The instinct we do have is to survive and that’s what they did, survive. Without a mother though, they did not learn how to be part of a family, how to put others first, how to chew food with their mouths closed, how to sit and act like a lady, how to tell someone what’s made them sad, mad, or glad, or how to know the front cover of a book from the back cover.
Oh, all you precious mommies out there, can you see how important your job is?!?! Motherhood is truly the highest calling a woman could ever have! Without mothers, not just care-takers, children are completely lost. I’ve always known that God never intended children to grow up in orphanages, or daycares for that matter, but I now have living proof in my own home and it breaks my heart daily!!! So for those of you who sometimes get discouraged about “just being a mom” while you are changing diapers, wiping noses, answering all those why questions, etc. please remember that you are teaching your children to know when to go, where to go, and to almost always make it to their destination on time! We are making sure that our children stay on course and getting them back on course if they begin to shift directions and get lost. We are teaching our children how to think, how to love others the way God loves us, how to live to please God, and to know the most important landmark of all, God’s Word.
I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for calling me to be a mother. He has blessed my life with both heartaches and joys through infertility, two miscarriages, the birth of three beautiful babies, and now through the adoption of two precious little girls who wanted and needed a mommy. My prayer has not changed since God put the desire in my heart to be a mother so many years ago—“God, please make me the mother You want me to be!”
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Life Lessons Learned from Liberian Lice
(How’s That for Alliteration?)
Hopefully from the title of this entry you can guess why there have been no posts lately to our blog. After all, life lessons are not usually easily or quickly learned and these are no exception. Our family had just had one entire week with as much normalcy as one can expect with two new adopted daughters without doctor appointments and starting school the week of January 6-12. Our church gave our family and another family who adopted a little girl from China in November an adoption shower on Sunday, January 13. It was beautiful and Maria and Suzanna loved all the attention and the wonderful gifts they received.
Monday morning, January 14, I woke up with great expectations for another “normal” and productive week of character training, bonding, reading together on the couch, and maybe even some learning. After breakfast and our scripture memory time, all the kids were doing their morning chores before we started our school day. I was in the laundry room getting another load in to wash when Aubrey came in with a Clorox wipe she had been using to wipe up the kids’ bathroom. She said, “Mom, I think I may know why Maria’s head has been itching so much lately.” I asked why and she showed me the wipe with a couple of teeny tiny little black creatures. I gulped and asked if there were more. She said, “Oh, Mom, the whole sink is full of them!” As I am staring at my white sink suddenly crawling with little black creatures, she then announces, “Maria was just in here scratching her head over the sink.” I immediately called our pediatrician’s office and asked for an appointment. They asked why I needed one and I explained about the little bugs. She said, “Oh, that sounds like lice and the nurse can tell you how to treat it over the phone.” By now my knees are wobbling and I’m seeing visions of having to shave our entire family’s heads! I spent the rest of the day talking to doctors, nurses, friends, and reading the Internet about lice. There is absolutely nothing pretty about lice!
The first thing I tried was a box of RID. I shampooed Maria’s head and then started to comb the gel through it. I could not get the tiny plastic comb through her hair at all. I tried and tried. By now I’m apologizing to Maria for not knowing what to do and trying to prepare her for a haircut. Finally the nurse at the pediatrician’s office calls and tells me I can put mayonnaise in her hair and put a shower cap on her overnight. She assures me this will work. She then tells me what I’ve been reading on the Internet, that I will have to wash all linens, pillows, clothes, etc. in hot water and that what I can’t wash in hot water will have to be put into lawn bags and sealed for 3 weeks. She also tells me that I will have to wash these things every day in hot water as long as I am seeing lice or eggs.
Not long after I hang up with the nurse, the girls’ doctor from the international adoption clinic returns my call and says all the same things except that our entire family probably has lice by now and she will call in a prescription in case the mayo doesn’t work. She then said that the silver lining in all this was that Liberian lice didn’t have the immunities built up against the standard medication like the American lice. I have to be honest; I did not see this as much of a silver lining as she probably hoped I would. Now my head had been itching since I first saw the nasty little creatures. I just assumed that Suzanna had lice from Liberia, too. I immediately took Aubrey outside to check her hair and sadly confirmed she had the creatures, too. By now I’m feeling sick to my stomach. Luke, my Marine, doesn’t have enough hair for lice, and the day before I had cut Riley’s hair way too short for his taste and didn’t find any in his hair either.
After putting half a jar of mayo in Maria’s hair I began a shopping list of things I would need to exterminate these creatures from our home. I also have to mention here that today is my first day to start cooking meals for a neighbor to earn a little extra money for our family and I had already started the chicken that morning before I confirmed that we were dealing with lice. I’m trying not to panic at the thought of all that has to be accomplished and how I’m going to comb three girls’ hair everyday, and who is going to comb mine if I have them. At last David calls to say he is on his way home from his extra job as I’m finishing up dinner for two families so that I can go to the store for the metal nit comb, shower caps, and lawn bags. Ten minutes later David calls back to tell me that he just received a hostage call out and won’t be home. AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Right before I left for the store I talked to a great friend from church, Terri, who was a psychiatric nurse for 17 years and dealt with lice quite a bit in her career. In fact she has been labeled both professionally and affectionately, the “Nit Queen.” She tells me to put Vaseline in the girls’ hair for 24 hours and then start combing out. Terri explains that the Vaseline will suffocate the lice and their eggs the same way the bags do with our items that can’t be washed in hot water. She also tells me she will come by in the morning to check us all for lice. Now I add Vaseline to my shopping list and take Aubrey and Suzanna with me to Wal-Mart. Riley, Luke, and Maria stay home so she won’t have to go out in public with mayo in her hair and a shower cap on. I put all three girls to bed with shower caps on until we confirm who has them and who doesn’t.
Next, I called our amazing church clerk, Nicole, and began telling her our latest saga and asked her to send out an email notifying the church since everyone had loved on the girls so much at the shower just the day before. While I am telling her all this the tears just started flowing. I was feeling so overwhelmed and guilty for even feeling this way. I knew I was not dealing with a serious medical issue, but I truly wondered how we were going to do all that we needed to do and we had already dealt with so much with both girls and their health. How were we ever going to bond as a family now? I went to bed exhausted both physically and emotionally, praying that I didn’t have lice, too, and with a beautiful shower cap on to boot.
Early Tuesday morning the kids and I start washing everything in the girls’ room that can be washed in hot water and bagging everything that couldn’t. Before Terri arrived I had taken Suzanna outside to search for the lice I knew she had and could not find a single sign of the little creatures. Terri confirmed this for me and I thanked God right away. Next Terri told me that I was also bug free!!! Hallelujah!!! She confirmed no bugs on the boys but Aubrey definitely had them. I then put half a jar of Vaseline on Aubrey’s long hair and cried at the thought of how long it was going to take to wash all that grease out. We continued washing, drying, and bagging all day long. Right after lunch I began to try and comb out Maria’s hair after washing the mayo out with my brand new metal nit comb. Once again I simply could not get the comb through her hair. I must take a moment to interject here that when I washed her hair lots of little creatures came out with the mayo! I called Terri, a.k.a. the “nit queen,” for help. She told me to stop combing, put Vaseline in her hair and a new shower cap on for 24 hours and then try again. I was so relieved! Now I could just concentrate on washing and bagging which was going oh so slowly. By late afternoon I was just putting the last of the girls’ pillows in the washer and still had the boys’ bedding and ours.
And it was those pillows that caused another problem just minutes after David arrived home from work. They were too big for my washer and caused the water to leak out from the machine during the spin cycle. We found the laundry room flooded with water going out to the garage!!! After dry vacuuming up all the water we continued washing and bagging until 1:00 a.m.
Wednesday morning I put on my sweats, an old shirt that buttoned down front, and a shower cap. I then proceeded to wash Aubrey’s hair…ten times!!! I had to wash it that much just to get the comb through all the Vaseline. I started her hair at 9:00 a.m. I continued to comb her hair until mid-afternoon. I then started the same process with Maria. Again, I had to wash her hair 10 times before starting the arduous process of combing her hair. By dinnertime my back hurt so badly I could not sit down to eat at the table. I finished her hair at 9:15 p.m. that night. All the while I washed and combed, the boys washed the sleeping bags that the girls were now sleeping in so we wouldn’t have to make up bunk beds every day. They also put David’s shop vac back together from Monday night’s flood and vacuumed out the van. This had to be done to take care of any lice or eggs that could be on the upholstery. I was so proud of Riley and Luke that day. They never stopped helping me and did so much problem solving on their own.
Thursday morning we started the entire process again. Only this morning, God sent an angel my way named Terri (yes the “nit queen”). After confirming the boys, Suzanna, and I still lice free, she stayed and combed Aubrey’s hair for me while I combed Maria’s. I was able to finish Maria just before 3:00 p.m. I enjoyed a hot shower on my aching back and was able to lie on the heating pad. I will forever be grateful for Terri’s sacrificial gift of service to me. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were repeats—washing hair a little less each day, combing which became easier, and washing everything of the girls in hot water. I didn’t have to comb Aubrey’s hair anymore after Sunday because we were able to catch her problem so soon. On Monday I made the decision to put the prescription medication in Maria’s hair just to be on the safe side. Terri said poor Maria had the worst case of lice she had ever seen in her life. I combed her hair for the last time that following Wednesday. We will be taking everything out of the bags this coming Wednesday, February 6. The girls are so excited about seeing their baby dolls again and giving them big hugs.
Now that God has seen the Young family through our little crisis I would like to at last share with you the lessons He taught us along the way. I ask your patience with this very long post; I will try to finish quickly.
The first lesson we learned is that when you adopt a child or children from a foreign country just assume they have lice and get it checked out immediately. When we took Maria and Suzanna to the international adoption clinic the first week we were home I told the doctor that Maria scratched her head all the way home. She glanced at it and said it was just the same fungus that was on one of her fingernails. We still can’t believe that out of all the times we were at different doctors that no one found the lice. The clinic doctor had even told me that I might need to have a refill for the fungus medication and since she continued to scratch her poor head I was just getting ready to call for the refill that Monday morning that all this started!
The most important lesson we learned was that God’s ways are different than man’s. My expectations of what bonding with my new daughters included snuggling on the couch, long talks, tea parties, etc. God wanted to show Maria and Suzanna what a mommy does. She holds you in the bathroom when you are throwing up and feverish with malaria or an intestinal parasite and she washes your hair and combs it out over and over when you have lice. Late Friday of the first week of lice as I was finishing up Maria’s hair it dawned on me that Maria was actually enjoying all of this. Each day I would set up a stool for her to sit on in front of the television so we could watch her favorite movies. We watched Sound of Music so many times that the girls know almost say every line. By the way, Maria has changed the movie title to “Maria.” We watched Mary Poppins and Heidi. For the first time in a long time or maybe ever, Maria was being taken care of. If you remember Maria’s nickname at the orphanage was, Grandma. She earned that name by taking care of everyone else. When we first brought her home I began to pray that Maria would be able to feel like a child and not to feel like she had to take care of everyone! God is so good; He answered this prayer so beautifully. Maria never once complained about the long hours of sitting while I combed her hair. She never complained about having to wear a shower cap all day and night long. She didn’t talk much while I combed her hair—communication is still a tad difficult—but I would often tell her how much I loved her or how proud of her I was for being such a trooper through all this. I would bend down and kiss her on the face. When I washed her hair I would look down at her face and tell her how beautiful she was.
God showed us His glory in so many other ways! While we were all quarantined in our house so many of our church family was extremely ill with the flu. He protected us! The days prior to this there were several arguments from both Maria and Suzanna over clothes. When we had to bag everything that couldn’t be washed in hot water, I left each of the three girls two pairs of sweats/jogging pants, two long-sleeve shirts, and two short-sleeve shirts. There hasn’t been a word about clothing these last couple of weeks. Riley and Luke made their mommy and daddy so proud by learning to be self-sufficient and problem solvers. God is growing our family in so many incredible ways. They are not comfortable lessons but then God never promised us a comfortable life. He did promise He would be with us always.
As we’ve had the girls home now almost 2 months we have come to the conclusion that not only do we have lots and lots of training to do with these precious girls but we also have lots of unteaching to do. They have survived unimaginable things to most of us, but at such a cost. They have learned survival of the fittest, they come first, and no one else matters. This is completely opposite of how a family works. During these last couple of weeks God has provided so many opportunities for the girls to see how a family has to put others first and how we have to work together to get things accomplished. These lessons have not been easy for the girls, especially Suzanna, but they are learning. Speaking of hard lessons—I know this will come as a shock to most of you, but God is STILL trying to teach me patience and letting go of things I cannot control. What better way to learn patience and to let go of my precious “to do” list than to stand for 12 hours a day and wash and comb hair ½ inch section at a time?!?! Not only does God show me His glory each and every day, He also shows me that He has an amazing sense of humor!!! And just in case you missed it, God also works in mysterious ways…He used a teeny tiny yucky bug called a louse to accomplish all this and so much more!
Hopefully from the title of this entry you can guess why there have been no posts lately to our blog. After all, life lessons are not usually easily or quickly learned and these are no exception. Our family had just had one entire week with as much normalcy as one can expect with two new adopted daughters without doctor appointments and starting school the week of January 6-12. Our church gave our family and another family who adopted a little girl from China in November an adoption shower on Sunday, January 13. It was beautiful and Maria and Suzanna loved all the attention and the wonderful gifts they received.
Monday morning, January 14, I woke up with great expectations for another “normal” and productive week of character training, bonding, reading together on the couch, and maybe even some learning. After breakfast and our scripture memory time, all the kids were doing their morning chores before we started our school day. I was in the laundry room getting another load in to wash when Aubrey came in with a Clorox wipe she had been using to wipe up the kids’ bathroom. She said, “Mom, I think I may know why Maria’s head has been itching so much lately.” I asked why and she showed me the wipe with a couple of teeny tiny little black creatures. I gulped and asked if there were more. She said, “Oh, Mom, the whole sink is full of them!” As I am staring at my white sink suddenly crawling with little black creatures, she then announces, “Maria was just in here scratching her head over the sink.” I immediately called our pediatrician’s office and asked for an appointment. They asked why I needed one and I explained about the little bugs. She said, “Oh, that sounds like lice and the nurse can tell you how to treat it over the phone.” By now my knees are wobbling and I’m seeing visions of having to shave our entire family’s heads! I spent the rest of the day talking to doctors, nurses, friends, and reading the Internet about lice. There is absolutely nothing pretty about lice!
The first thing I tried was a box of RID. I shampooed Maria’s head and then started to comb the gel through it. I could not get the tiny plastic comb through her hair at all. I tried and tried. By now I’m apologizing to Maria for not knowing what to do and trying to prepare her for a haircut. Finally the nurse at the pediatrician’s office calls and tells me I can put mayonnaise in her hair and put a shower cap on her overnight. She assures me this will work. She then tells me what I’ve been reading on the Internet, that I will have to wash all linens, pillows, clothes, etc. in hot water and that what I can’t wash in hot water will have to be put into lawn bags and sealed for 3 weeks. She also tells me that I will have to wash these things every day in hot water as long as I am seeing lice or eggs.
Not long after I hang up with the nurse, the girls’ doctor from the international adoption clinic returns my call and says all the same things except that our entire family probably has lice by now and she will call in a prescription in case the mayo doesn’t work. She then said that the silver lining in all this was that Liberian lice didn’t have the immunities built up against the standard medication like the American lice. I have to be honest; I did not see this as much of a silver lining as she probably hoped I would. Now my head had been itching since I first saw the nasty little creatures. I just assumed that Suzanna had lice from Liberia, too. I immediately took Aubrey outside to check her hair and sadly confirmed she had the creatures, too. By now I’m feeling sick to my stomach. Luke, my Marine, doesn’t have enough hair for lice, and the day before I had cut Riley’s hair way too short for his taste and didn’t find any in his hair either.
After putting half a jar of mayo in Maria’s hair I began a shopping list of things I would need to exterminate these creatures from our home. I also have to mention here that today is my first day to start cooking meals for a neighbor to earn a little extra money for our family and I had already started the chicken that morning before I confirmed that we were dealing with lice. I’m trying not to panic at the thought of all that has to be accomplished and how I’m going to comb three girls’ hair everyday, and who is going to comb mine if I have them. At last David calls to say he is on his way home from his extra job as I’m finishing up dinner for two families so that I can go to the store for the metal nit comb, shower caps, and lawn bags. Ten minutes later David calls back to tell me that he just received a hostage call out and won’t be home. AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Right before I left for the store I talked to a great friend from church, Terri, who was a psychiatric nurse for 17 years and dealt with lice quite a bit in her career. In fact she has been labeled both professionally and affectionately, the “Nit Queen.” She tells me to put Vaseline in the girls’ hair for 24 hours and then start combing out. Terri explains that the Vaseline will suffocate the lice and their eggs the same way the bags do with our items that can’t be washed in hot water. She also tells me she will come by in the morning to check us all for lice. Now I add Vaseline to my shopping list and take Aubrey and Suzanna with me to Wal-Mart. Riley, Luke, and Maria stay home so she won’t have to go out in public with mayo in her hair and a shower cap on. I put all three girls to bed with shower caps on until we confirm who has them and who doesn’t.
Next, I called our amazing church clerk, Nicole, and began telling her our latest saga and asked her to send out an email notifying the church since everyone had loved on the girls so much at the shower just the day before. While I am telling her all this the tears just started flowing. I was feeling so overwhelmed and guilty for even feeling this way. I knew I was not dealing with a serious medical issue, but I truly wondered how we were going to do all that we needed to do and we had already dealt with so much with both girls and their health. How were we ever going to bond as a family now? I went to bed exhausted both physically and emotionally, praying that I didn’t have lice, too, and with a beautiful shower cap on to boot.
Early Tuesday morning the kids and I start washing everything in the girls’ room that can be washed in hot water and bagging everything that couldn’t. Before Terri arrived I had taken Suzanna outside to search for the lice I knew she had and could not find a single sign of the little creatures. Terri confirmed this for me and I thanked God right away. Next Terri told me that I was also bug free!!! Hallelujah!!! She confirmed no bugs on the boys but Aubrey definitely had them. I then put half a jar of Vaseline on Aubrey’s long hair and cried at the thought of how long it was going to take to wash all that grease out. We continued washing, drying, and bagging all day long. Right after lunch I began to try and comb out Maria’s hair after washing the mayo out with my brand new metal nit comb. Once again I simply could not get the comb through her hair. I must take a moment to interject here that when I washed her hair lots of little creatures came out with the mayo! I called Terri, a.k.a. the “nit queen,” for help. She told me to stop combing, put Vaseline in her hair and a new shower cap on for 24 hours and then try again. I was so relieved! Now I could just concentrate on washing and bagging which was going oh so slowly. By late afternoon I was just putting the last of the girls’ pillows in the washer and still had the boys’ bedding and ours.
And it was those pillows that caused another problem just minutes after David arrived home from work. They were too big for my washer and caused the water to leak out from the machine during the spin cycle. We found the laundry room flooded with water going out to the garage!!! After dry vacuuming up all the water we continued washing and bagging until 1:00 a.m.
Wednesday morning I put on my sweats, an old shirt that buttoned down front, and a shower cap. I then proceeded to wash Aubrey’s hair…ten times!!! I had to wash it that much just to get the comb through all the Vaseline. I started her hair at 9:00 a.m. I continued to comb her hair until mid-afternoon. I then started the same process with Maria. Again, I had to wash her hair 10 times before starting the arduous process of combing her hair. By dinnertime my back hurt so badly I could not sit down to eat at the table. I finished her hair at 9:15 p.m. that night. All the while I washed and combed, the boys washed the sleeping bags that the girls were now sleeping in so we wouldn’t have to make up bunk beds every day. They also put David’s shop vac back together from Monday night’s flood and vacuumed out the van. This had to be done to take care of any lice or eggs that could be on the upholstery. I was so proud of Riley and Luke that day. They never stopped helping me and did so much problem solving on their own.
Thursday morning we started the entire process again. Only this morning, God sent an angel my way named Terri (yes the “nit queen”). After confirming the boys, Suzanna, and I still lice free, she stayed and combed Aubrey’s hair for me while I combed Maria’s. I was able to finish Maria just before 3:00 p.m. I enjoyed a hot shower on my aching back and was able to lie on the heating pad. I will forever be grateful for Terri’s sacrificial gift of service to me. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were repeats—washing hair a little less each day, combing which became easier, and washing everything of the girls in hot water. I didn’t have to comb Aubrey’s hair anymore after Sunday because we were able to catch her problem so soon. On Monday I made the decision to put the prescription medication in Maria’s hair just to be on the safe side. Terri said poor Maria had the worst case of lice she had ever seen in her life. I combed her hair for the last time that following Wednesday. We will be taking everything out of the bags this coming Wednesday, February 6. The girls are so excited about seeing their baby dolls again and giving them big hugs.
Now that God has seen the Young family through our little crisis I would like to at last share with you the lessons He taught us along the way. I ask your patience with this very long post; I will try to finish quickly.
The first lesson we learned is that when you adopt a child or children from a foreign country just assume they have lice and get it checked out immediately. When we took Maria and Suzanna to the international adoption clinic the first week we were home I told the doctor that Maria scratched her head all the way home. She glanced at it and said it was just the same fungus that was on one of her fingernails. We still can’t believe that out of all the times we were at different doctors that no one found the lice. The clinic doctor had even told me that I might need to have a refill for the fungus medication and since she continued to scratch her poor head I was just getting ready to call for the refill that Monday morning that all this started!
The most important lesson we learned was that God’s ways are different than man’s. My expectations of what bonding with my new daughters included snuggling on the couch, long talks, tea parties, etc. God wanted to show Maria and Suzanna what a mommy does. She holds you in the bathroom when you are throwing up and feverish with malaria or an intestinal parasite and she washes your hair and combs it out over and over when you have lice. Late Friday of the first week of lice as I was finishing up Maria’s hair it dawned on me that Maria was actually enjoying all of this. Each day I would set up a stool for her to sit on in front of the television so we could watch her favorite movies. We watched Sound of Music so many times that the girls know almost say every line. By the way, Maria has changed the movie title to “Maria.” We watched Mary Poppins and Heidi. For the first time in a long time or maybe ever, Maria was being taken care of. If you remember Maria’s nickname at the orphanage was, Grandma. She earned that name by taking care of everyone else. When we first brought her home I began to pray that Maria would be able to feel like a child and not to feel like she had to take care of everyone! God is so good; He answered this prayer so beautifully. Maria never once complained about the long hours of sitting while I combed her hair. She never complained about having to wear a shower cap all day and night long. She didn’t talk much while I combed her hair—communication is still a tad difficult—but I would often tell her how much I loved her or how proud of her I was for being such a trooper through all this. I would bend down and kiss her on the face. When I washed her hair I would look down at her face and tell her how beautiful she was.
God showed us His glory in so many other ways! While we were all quarantined in our house so many of our church family was extremely ill with the flu. He protected us! The days prior to this there were several arguments from both Maria and Suzanna over clothes. When we had to bag everything that couldn’t be washed in hot water, I left each of the three girls two pairs of sweats/jogging pants, two long-sleeve shirts, and two short-sleeve shirts. There hasn’t been a word about clothing these last couple of weeks. Riley and Luke made their mommy and daddy so proud by learning to be self-sufficient and problem solvers. God is growing our family in so many incredible ways. They are not comfortable lessons but then God never promised us a comfortable life. He did promise He would be with us always.
As we’ve had the girls home now almost 2 months we have come to the conclusion that not only do we have lots and lots of training to do with these precious girls but we also have lots of unteaching to do. They have survived unimaginable things to most of us, but at such a cost. They have learned survival of the fittest, they come first, and no one else matters. This is completely opposite of how a family works. During these last couple of weeks God has provided so many opportunities for the girls to see how a family has to put others first and how we have to work together to get things accomplished. These lessons have not been easy for the girls, especially Suzanna, but they are learning. Speaking of hard lessons—I know this will come as a shock to most of you, but God is STILL trying to teach me patience and letting go of things I cannot control. What better way to learn patience and to let go of my precious “to do” list than to stand for 12 hours a day and wash and comb hair ½ inch section at a time?!?! Not only does God show me His glory each and every day, He also shows me that He has an amazing sense of humor!!! And just in case you missed it, God also works in mysterious ways…He used a teeny tiny yucky bug called a louse to accomplish all this and so much more!
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