What A Difference A Year Makes

One year ago today, David and I along with our two new daughters, Maria and Suzanna, were leaving Liberia to begin a 24- hour trip home and a whole new life. The past year has been the most challenging and difficult for our family, but also the most blessed. I thank God daily for the challenges and trials not because I’ve enjoyed them but because I have come to know my Heavenly Father in ways I couldn’t even have imagined and have grown more and more dependant on Him than ever before. I have come to know my own unworthy sinful self better and therefore more and more humbled and grateful to God and His amazing grace. The theme song for our adoption has not changed since we answered His call almost four years ago, “How Great is Our God."

Our family celebrated “Gotcha Day” yesterday as it was one year ago on December 6th that David and I took Maria and Suzanna from the orphanage for the last time and they were officially our daughters. Maria, Aubrey, Suzanna, and I spent the morning in the kitchen preparing dinner and dessert for our celebration. Our entire family spent the afternoon going through the almost 500 photos we’ve taken since we picked them up from the orphanage until Saturday, November 29 when we cut down our Christmas tree. We had so much fun looking at all the great times God has blessed us with this past year, especially our vacation to Dauphin Island, Alabama in October. The best thing was to see the transformation in Maria and Suzanna; they have grown and blossomed so much. Besides growing in inches and pounds, their hair and skin look absolutely beautiful; they look healthy and happy. We ended the day with a big dinner celebration with our wonderful friends, the Robisons. It was the Robisons that took care of Riley, Luke, and Aubrey the entire week David and I were in Liberia. The girls chose to have homemade tostados, chocolate cake with chocolate icing, and cinnamon ice cream. We lit sparklers in the cake and sang “Happy Gotcha Day!” We ended the evening with fireworks and a skit put on by all the boys.

The physical changes in the girls have been the easiest part of the past year. Lots of good healthy food, vitamins, good hygiene, proper rest, hard work and play do the body good. If only the emotional, mental, and spiritual growth were so easy! Even with the huge amount of reading and researching to prepare us for the challenges the girls might bring with them, I still naively thought that our family’s love could and would heal all. Boy was I wrong!!! It will not be our love that brings healing; it will be God’s. I’m not saying our love isn’t necessary or isn’t helping, but it is God’s perfect, unconditional, and never-ending love that will bring salvation to Maria and Suzanna. Until both girls see a need for a Savior, all the education, bonding, training, etc. are just temporary fixes at best. We have begun praying Ezekiel 36:26-27 for both Maria and Suzanna and would love for each of you to pray the same.

We know we are dealing with an attachment disorder with one of the girls and are diligently seeking help for that. Both girls still struggle with learning how to let go of their survival of the fittest mentality and behavior, and learning how to be part of a family by thinking of and honoring others above themselves. School is a huge challenge. All learning for both girls has consisted only of memorization. They neither one know or understand what they have memorized or how to use it. They want to continue this method of learning and it just doesn’t work when trying to teach and train the girls to think and problem solve instead. Learning disabilities is a definite factor and so we need help for this as well.

The girls have definitely made some baby steps in these areas and that’s what we’ve learned to expect. It is like raising an infant but with the added challenges of not knowing what the girls experienced prenatally, having eight and nine years of no and/or negative training and education, and tremendous amounts of unhealthy baggage. I do believe they want to learn; they just don’t know how yet.

Maria and Suzanna aren’t the only ones taking baby steps, so am I in my sanctification process. I struggle with handling these new challenges the way God wants me to. I tend to of course handle them in the flesh and blow it completely. A couple of times I’ve even told God that even though I know He doesn’t make mistakes He might have made His first in letting me be the mother of Maria and Suzanna. With His amazing love He gently reminds me that His grace is sufficient for me and that power is perfected in my weakness.

At our Thanksgiving table this year I expressed my thankfulness for God’s faithfulness in my life. Each morning, even the mornings that I didn’t want to face, I prayed for wisdom, strength, endurance, patience, and grace to handle whatever the day brought. Each and every day God provided just exactly what I needed. He provided my daily bread. Once when I shared this someone replied back, “Nothing less and nothing more.” I have to disagree on one point; He has often provided more than I asked for. He has truly blessed my life in so many ways this past year. He has blessed me with the best husband and children in the entire world. He has also blessed me with some of the most amazing and Godly women as friends. All through the year God has used both my family and friends to come alongside and support, encourage, pray, and share themselves with me. They have brought me true joy.

I anticipate great physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth of our entire family this next year. I look forward to creating many more special memories to capture in pictures and our hearts. I will continue to thank God for the blessings as well as the trials He brings to my life.